Letter to Wayne Rooney

Dear Mr. Rooney

I am just writing to say,
To say
I watched your fine display
Against the Swiss, the other day
Witnessed your fervour and magnaniminity in celebration
And would like to offer my,
My....
Dam this is hard.

You see I'm from down South
And remember you in Blue
Going through, a callow youth
And in truth, the headed touch
Made it obvious, but my word
Did you produce.
And now you are top scorer of your nation
I would just like to say,
To say....

That you have definitely scored
More goals than any other from these shores
And saw the pass that dropped the jaw
And made run that got ignored
And for all this I must applaud
And extend without hesitation
My sincerest
My sincere
My most sincere
Dam this is hard

I must clap
That the pack of hacks
That harassed you since that very first cap
For a month or two are off your back
While they sit down to eat some hat
And read the stats in white and black
So it's one of those situations
When you have to hold your hand up and say,
And say....

That down the pub or in the press
Some will say their mate rates some late
Player as better, but to the last letter or breath
That unavoidably makes you a modern great.

And we will argue ounces on the tonne
Whether Scarlet or Vermillion is a better shade of red
But of names to conjure, yours is one
Face upon the wall above so many dream filled beds
So I must offer my sincerest,
My most heartfelt,
My humblest, proudest

Oh the jealous tribal pain
But you don't need it from me,
Or any of the rest of us
The numbers put it simple,
The numbers say it plain
Your best is good enough
Top scorer for the country that created the game
Crack on son.
Congratulations.